As I moved back to Tennessee last Saturday, ending one of most difficult chapters in my life, I was crying a lot on the trip back. I was still in a state of fear and emotionally everywhere. I thought it would be a long time before the old Leo returns. I was wrong. It was good to be back in Middle Tennessee. But God gave me a sense of peace over my decision to leave for weeks now.
I returned back to Third Baptist Church last Sunday with open arms from everyone and even from people who knew about the last few months and the struggles of my life. Monday night, I was invited to attend Men’s Ministry event at MTSU BCM by my friend/bro/disciple Rob, who was leading the event that night and had so much fun. It felt like the old Leo returned that night but still a little fragile.
On Wednesday afternoon, I felt a sense of peace had returned and every inch of fear and fragility disappeared. Wednesday night was the first time in almost a year I had attended Wed. night events at 3BC especially with the student ministry. It was great. A lot of them I haven’t seen in almost a year. It felt like I didn’t miss a beat with them. Two of them wanted me to read the Bible that night and the same two people convinced Adam to read the closing statement for Bible Study that night. After I read it in a super loud and authoritative voice, they told me they had wished they had that heard that voice when I teaching (they were both in my 8 A.M. Middle School Life Group from Aug. 2013- Aug. 2016). I told them that was from being in the internship the last 6 months.
I put the job search in the hands of God, who has control of everything in my life, the night I moved back and had four interviews this week and two next week because I have decided to stop trying to be in control of every situation in life and allow God to be in control of my life 24/7.
This was a hard lesson I had learned for most of my life but I wanted control and wanted to fix every situation my life. I decided to give up control of that a month ago and decided to allow God to show me where he wants me to go. If he tells me to go, I will go and follow HIM with no questions asked. I had to instill a new thought process of being positive and having a winning mentality during this job search process. I know when people are on the comeback from difficult situations in life, some decide to focus on the WOE IS ME approach and have a mentality of giving up. I had to make it a daily goal of applying for jobs with a positive mentality of not giving up. I know I am on the comeback trail and will be back better than ever before because God is on my side and hasn’t given up on me yet.
I could say a lot more to say about this week and tons of Thank You’s to say to many people who have been supportive of me in my life over the past few weeks but for another time….